By Trevor Johnson
Shyness is one of those awkward things to have as it can hold you back in life. It can stop you from getting the girl or boy of your dreams, it can mean you're passed over for promotion. All sorts of things that would be less likely to happen if only you could conquer your shyness. Follow these simple steps to conquering your shyness once and for all.
1. Write out your "nothing's changed" worst case scenario
Sorry - this is a nasty one - but you need to stop being shy, so go with me on this.
Grab a blank piece of paper or a new Word document and vividly imagine how your life will still suck in a year's time if you don't get rid of this shyness affliction.
Chances are that you'll do a good job of detailing everything that could possibly go wrong. That's fine - avoiding this scenario what is known in the trade as "away from" motivation and we're going to use that to your advantage.
2. Now flip that scenario over like an egg
This one is easier now you've done the dirty deed and lived out your worst case "I'm still shy" scenario.
Turn the situation round into positives so that you can see how much better your life will be when you're no longer so shy and retiring.
3. Sounds like a plan...
Well, actually, this bit is more like working out a plan to get you from your timid, shy, present self to the outward going, center of the party, person you're going to become.
Split it into lots of small - seemingly insignificant - steps. Each one of which are so easy, even a child could do them. That way they won't seem worrying to you and you won't spend your day working out 101 reasons why you can't do at least one of the steps.
4. Take some steps to becoming less shy
Make sure you take at least one steps you decided on in the third part each and every day.
They could be as simple as actually saying words like "please" and "thank you" out loud rather than in your head.
It doesn't really matter how small the steps are so long as you take at least one each day.
What you're doing is the start of a war of attrition on your shyness. And you're going to win this time!
5. Keep at it
This is the part most of us fall over at, most of the time.
We give up too early.
Keep to your steps for at least a month. That way they'll start to become part of your daily habits and routines.
6. Have faith in yourself
You really can do this (honest!)
Belief in yourself is an excellent start. Fake it until you make it if necessary but keep believing that you're on your way to a positive change to banish shyness from your life.
7. Remember, you likely won't notice small changes
In the same way as you don't measure how many extra microns longer your eyelashes are than yesterday, you won't notice the small but significant changes you're making to push shyness out of your life.
But they are happening.
Likely the first you'll know is when someone you haven't met for a while comments positively on how much less shy you are. But that could be weeks or months away - people you meet daily are in the same boat as you, they probably won't take in the fact that you're becoming a more confident - and less shy - person.
Get more help with conquering your shyness and take a look at how to overcome shyness with hypnosis.
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